Sex Tips

The 411 on Sexual Foreplay & Fantastic Foreplay Ideas

Bed on checkered background.
Whether it’s “start your engines” or “let’s get ready to rumble,” many notable activities have signature starters. Getting busy is no different. But when it comes to sex, it’s worth noting that the opening act can be just as important as the main event. We’re talkin’ about foreplay.


Sexual foreplay involves any activity that elicits a heightened sense of sexual arousal and stimulation. It encompasses emotional and physical intimate acts that set the mood, enhancing the desire for sexual activity.

In that sense, foreplay—which is also called outercourse—can be extremely different from one couple to the next. For example, simple gestures, playful words (or dirty talk) and flirty glances might be considered acts of foreplay. But foreplay can also involve more erotic activities, like temperature play involving ice, wax, or lubrication with heating and cooling sensations.

Whether short and to the point or an extended exploration, foreplay can be a heart-pumping, toe-curling, satisfying pleasure all unto itself. Some partners might find they get more gratification from foreplay and the buildup to intercourse. So don’t be a tease—or actually, maybe you should if you and your partner like it—discovering what kind of foreplay you enjoy is a great way to improve your sex life.


The necessity of foreplay is subjective and may vary from couple to couple. Some couples may not need much gas in their tank to get turned on and feel ready for intercourse. But others may desire some outercourse and flirty foreplay to slowly work up to the point of intercourse.

That said, foreplay is important because it can help set the stage for a more sensual experience. For most sexual partners, trying to have great sex without foreplay is like trying to force a condom on a flaccid penis—it’s not going to work well. Just like you need to know how to put on a condom before having sex, you also need to know how to use sexual foreplay and outercourse techniques to create more lust and desire between you and your partner.


Haven’t made your foray into foreplay and wondering what to do? Heed some of the following tips so you can fully immerse yourself in the world of foreplay:

Communicate with your partner

Take your time

Share in fantasies together and be open to experimentation

Be intentional and enthusiastic with your words and touching

Think outside just the bedroom

Try out some spicy dirty talk

The first several can be simple enough to get the hang of when you engage in more consistent sexual foreplay. But dirty talk is something that may take some workshopping between you and your partner.


Dirty talk can prove a bit difficult to master, and each individual may respond differently to dirty talk. Some might like flirtier verbal interplay. Others might want hot and heavy dirty talk. But, whether you’re engaging in couple foreplay or more erotic foreplay, dirty talk can make things that much steamier. Here are some tips for how to talk dirty:

Ease into it: You don’t want to come out of the gates too quickly, particularly if you’re engaging in foreplay and sexual intercourse with a new partner or preparing to have sex for the first time. Even for those people who enjoy more passionate dirty talk, it’s important to sus things out so you can get a sense of what your partner enjoys. You might also experiment with different tones to see what your partner enjoys.

Throw in some compliments: Telling your partner how aroused they make you can help enhance their own stimulation. So, call out what you find sexy about them or what they’re doing when you’re engaging in foreplay. After all, words of affirmation can be quite sexy!

Ask questions: It may sound silly but asking questions such as “Do you like that?” or “What do you want to do to me?” can amp up sexual arousal. Before you know it, one thing can lead to another.

Talk about what’s happening: Again, this might sound simple. But describing the action can help make foreplay more enjoyable. It’s certainly a valuable component of talking dirty.

Explain what you’re about to do: Increase the anticipation by telling your partner what you plan to do to them. Maybe you have a sensual way of explaining you’re about to go down on them. Or, you could talk them through a shared fantasy you want to make happen—whether now or in the future.

Don’t force the issue: This is one of the most important tips. Dirty talk should feel natural and fun, not forced. If you and your partner aren’t in the mood or someone isn’t responding, that’s perfectly fine! Again, it’s important to take things slow.

In summation, the most important thing you can do is communicate with your partner and assess how they’re feeling or what they enjoy.

Infographic showing the benefits of foreplay during sex.


We know, we know. You’re eager to make the most of your anticipation or sensual encounters with a stimulating and scintillating round of intercourse. But whether you’re preparing to have sex for the first time or someone who hasn’t done a whole lot of outercourse in the past, you should know that sexual foreplay offers ample benefits:

“Oh My” before the Big O: As foreplay gets the heart pumping, the blood supply to body tissues and nerve endings increases, especially in the genitals. Erectile tissue activates in the nipples and penis, and the natural lubrication in the vagina increases. These changes help reduce friction, intensify pleasure, and increase the chances of orgasm. Who’d want to pass up on that?

Deepens physical and emotional connections: In addition to building on sexual tension to make things hot and steamy, foreplay can also enhance emotional intimacy. Long-term couples can use foreplay to keep things interesting or reignite passion with spontaneity and fun. For new partners, foreplay is an opportunity to become more comfortable with each other.

Setting the tone: Foreplay can help to lessen any of the nerves or restlessness you might feel ahead of a sexual encounter. Plus, foreplay doesn't always have to come immediately before sex. Try sending sexy messages throughout the day, and never underestimate the power of a well-placed compliment. Sexting can help keep the passion going and it's also a great way to build anticipation for the next time you're together.

Physical preparation: The physiological responses you and your partner have to foreplay are important for sex. It’s one of the reasons why lube should be considered essential in your sexual repertoire.

Sex should provide physical and emotional benefits for all parties involved, and getting some of the benefits of foreplay should be part of that experience.


Oral sex is one of the most popular forms of sexual foreplay, and it’s also fairly universal. Past studies have shown that around 40% of people in 26 different countries had engaged in oral sex. Some people feel an extra sense of gratification in receiving, and even giving, oral sex.

Learn some tips and tricks for the best oral sex positions and techniques so that, whether you’re an oral sex veteran or rookie, you can make it part of your fantastic foreplay routine. After all, the more activities you can include during foreplay, the more you can mix things up and lessen the chances of bedroom boredom.


For a full, mind-blowing experience, the more of the five senses you include in your foreplay the better. Here are some foreplay tips for having better outercourse:

Be a showoff: You and your partner should both want to feel desired—and finding ways to show off your assets can be part of that arousal! Ambient lighting, sexy clothing (or lack of clothing), a strip tease, or watching a sexy movie are a few foreplay ideas that can get things going visually.

Touch all over: It's not just about where you touch, but how and with what. While kissing is a classic that shouldn't be taken for granted, there are many other enticing options to consider. Experiment with texture and temperature, skin-to-skin contact, and touching with objects like sex toys and lubes. Try some of our favorites, like the Dual Pleasure Vibrating Wand and Infinite Glide silicone lube, to help enhance the stimulation! Also, vary the speed and pressure of your touch.

Something smells… sexy: Perfumes, body sprays, scented candles, etc. can enhance the experience, but aren't necessary. Be careful of heavy fragrances which can be off-putting to some people. And it goes without saying (although we're saying it anyway) that good personal hygiene is sexy.

Yummy accessories: Feeding each other foods with interesting flavors and textures can be a turn-on. Ever wanted to be naked eating chocolate-covered strawberries? Want to lick whipped cream off your partner’s sensitive areas and erogenous zones? Food and foreplay can go together quite nicely. Flavored massage oils and erotic products can also add an element of fun. If using lotions or oils, make sure they're compatible with any condoms you're using.

Watch something erotic: Watching a porn or erotic film together might help to boost sexual arousal in the moment. Don’t just be a voyeur. After watching sexy content, try out some of your best moves on your partner!

Try out hardcore: Has your partner ever wanted to be tied up while you kiss and touch all over them? Bondage and other BDSM techniques might become erotic foreplay staples. Just make sure you and your partner have a safe word so you both know when it’s time to tone things down.

Roleplay: Want to play the professor to your naughty student, or act out a scene from your favorite anime show? Roleplaying is a great foreplay technique to mix things up. For some spicy couple foreplay, you might try out acting like strangers ahead of a sexy rendezvous!

Foreplay all over: Don’t just engage in foreplay in the bedroom. We talked about how sexting can build anticipation. But you and your partner might find it even sexier if you both act on urges at unexpected times. Maybe you dress up in your best lingerie before your partner comes home from work. You could catch your partner off guard by kissing their neck and touching them while they’re preparing dinner. Whatever the case may be, don’t put foreplay in a box!

Regardless of which foreplay tips you choose to act on, it’s important to try new things to help improve your sex life. And remember: always talk things through with your partner.


Mastering foreplay enhances sexual experiences, and Trojan™ is here to help. Make Trojan™ part of the fun—from condoms to vibrators and lubricants—so you and your partner can have your best sex!