Tips, Tricks, and Positions for Steamy Shower Sex
A steamy room, flickering candles, and a naked partner already wet and glistening. No wonder so many movies include shower sex scenes. From the outside it seems like the sexiest thing ever, but anyone who has ever given it a try will tell you that sex in the shower can be trickier than it looks. Space is tight, the floor is slippery, and if you end up outside the water stream, you can get cold fast.
We still think shower sex is worth the effort, but it does take some planning. Here are some tips and tricks to make sex in the shower as steamy in real life as it is on the big screen.
How to Have Good Sex in the Shower
Shower sex is not always the magical experience movies and porn would like us to believe, but it really can be fun. You just need to make a plan for staying warm, safe, and wet (in more ways than one). Here are a few tips.
Warm up the room. Bathrooms can be chilly places and it's hard to feel hot when you're cold. Turn the shower on and let the room steam up before you get in. If you have radiant flooring or a heating fan, turn those on too. And make the room look warm by adding a few candles.
Warm up each other. It can actually be harder to get turned on when you're wet especially for people with vaginas because water washes away the natural lubrication your body makes. Get started with foreplay before you head under the water (while you're warming up the room, perhaps) so you are both raring to go as soon as you hop in.
Have lube at the ready. This is a point worth repeating (and we will a lot). Showers are wet but they are not the right kind of wet. Water can cause friction and wash away natural lubrication, so make sure to have some lube at the ready. As tempting as it may be to grab a bottle of conditioner or body gel, these products may irritate your most sensitive spots. Silicone lube, like Trojan™ Arouses* & Intensifies Lube is best for the shower because it doesn't rinse off in the water.
Get the water in right place. One of the trickiest parts of shower sex is getting the water stream to hit in the right spot. It often feels like one person gets all the water while the other is quite literally left out in the cold. And you don't want the water to hit anyone right in the face (let's say they're down on their knees giving head) or be aimed right at the genitals when you're trying penetrative sex (it will wash away that lube). Aim the shower head at your chests or backs and move it around as needed.
Know when to get out. Shower sex doesn't have to start in the shower or end there. Some homes don't have an endless supply of hot water and some people don't like the feeling of being waterlogged (pruney isn't sexy). Get out before anyone gets uncomfortable even if that's before everyone gets off. You can keep the action going by toweling each other off gently and moving on to a drier location.
Stay safe. When we're talking sex in the shower, safe sex takes on a different meaning. Yes, we want to keep you protected from STIs because water does not wash away bacteria or viruses (we'll talk condoms later). But the biggest risk in the shower is slipping and falling. Make sure you're on firm footing and don't try any positions that feel unsteady.
The truth is that not everyone enjoys sex in the shower or finds it's worth the effort. That's okay. Remember to get consent for everything you are going to do. If your partner is just not that into it, don't push. There are a lot of other places you can do it.
Things to Do in the Shower with Your Partner
The shower is a change of venue, but with a little creativity (and a lot of flexibility), you can do anything in there that you can do on dry land and a little bit more. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
#1: Soapy Sensual Exploration
Lather, rinse, and repeat. But while the suds are still fresh, use them to run your hands all over your partner's body. Help them get clean by soaping up all of their nooks and crevices or given them a sensual, bubbly massage. Then rinse them off gently (use the hand-held showerhead if you have one).
#2: Oral Sex
A trickle of water can add to your fun when you're going down on your partner. Let them stand under the warm stream while you get on your knees between their legs. Make sure they can use the wall as support should their legs get a little weak with pleasure. Or take advantage of the shower bench and have seated oral sex.
#3: Penetrative Sex
Whether you're going for vaginal or anal sex or prefer penetration with a finger or sex toy, the shower can accommodate. Our favorite shower sex positions are below but how you do it will depend on your body parts, flexibility, and the size of your... shower stall. Remember our tips above and use a silicone-based lube like Trojan™ Arouses & Releases™ Lube so things can be wet AND slippery.
#5: Mutual Masturbation
Don't feel bendy enough for penetrative sex in the shower? No problem. The shower is an excellent place for mutual masturbation. Start with a little show and tell; show your partner what you like and tell them how good it feels. Then let them reach across the tub and take a turn touching you. Bring a waterproof toy into the shower with you to add to the fun. And we know you know by now but don't forget the lube.
#6: Solo Masturbation
The shower has always been a prime place for self-love. Bathroom doors are likely to lock, the sound of the water can mask quiet moans, and nobody questions what you're doing in there alone. Not to mention, some people swear by showerhead masturbation. Holding a hand-held showerhead masturbation up against your vulva or penis while hot water flows out can offer a unique kind of stimulation. Or bring another kind of sex toy into the shower for more familiar vibrations. If the water dries you out, be sure to add some lube.
Best Sex Positions in the Shower
The best positions for sex in the shower really depend on your shower. People with a small 60's-style, stand-up shower (you know the ones with pastel colored tiles and a textured glass door) may be limited to, well, stand-up sex. Shower/tub combos offer the option of sitting on the tub floor or propping one leg up on the ledge. If you have a shower with a built-in bench or room for one you could bring in, a lot more options open up.
The most important thing about choosing a shower sex position is safety. Slips and falls are real, and you can get really hurt. This is not the time to test out whether you can hold up you partner for half an hour, support your own weight on your hands while your partner holds your legs (like in a reverse wheelbarrow), or balance on one leg (for the three-legged dog). If you've done it all before or are confident in your ability based on your daily yoga practice, go for it. Otherwise, try these safer positions and save the other stuff for drier rooms.
Standing Sex (Facing Toward or Away from Your Partner)
This is the most obvious of shower sex positions because it's doable in even the smallest of showers. Lean against the wall facing toward or away from your partner, then they can put their hands on either side of your body for support. Depending on the direction you're facing, this can work for vaginal or anal sex or for penetration with a finger or sex toy.
Standing Doggy Style
In this position the receptive partner bends over at the waist so that their partner can enter from behind. This position also works for vaginal and anal sex or for penetration with a finger or sex toy and is good for hitting the G-spot or the P-spot. If your partner has a vulva, reach around to rub their clitoris for added stimulation.
Seated Reverse Cowgirl or Cowboy
The seated reverse cowgirl or cowboy can be the perfect way to put that shower bench to good use. One partner sits down on the bench and the other sits on their lap facing forward. This is good for anal and vaginal penetration if the seated partner has a penis or is holding a sex toy. It can also be a good position for reaching around to give your partner a hand job or using your fingers on their clitoris.
One Leg Up (aka Captain Morgan)
The bench or the ledge of the tub is a good place to perch a bent leg for added stability. Do this position while facing toward or away from your partner as they enter you or use their fingers to make you quiver with pleasure. The easier access and new angle brings home the moans.
Using a Condom for Safer Shower Sex
You can use a condom in the shower. The change of location to the shower doesn't change your safer sex needs. If you're using condoms for birth control or STI prevention when you have sex in other rooms in the house, you should do so in the shower as well.
Here are some tips about using a condom during shower sex:
Bring it with you. Bring the condoms into the bathroom if you're going to have shower sex but don't store them there as it's better for condoms to be in a cool, dry place.
Step out. Put the condom on before stepping into the shower-or step out, dry off, put it on, and step back in. Condoms are easy to use but if all of the hands and penises involved are wet it can be a little hard to roll them on properly.
Add extra lube. Shower sex with a condom definitely needs some lube to cut down on potential friction. Silicone lube is condom-friendly, won't wash off, and should last a long time. Bring the bottle into the shower with you, just in case. If it is getting dry down there, take a break and reapply.
It's also important to note that shower sex can open you up to the possibility of yeast infections or UTIs if you stay wet for too long (moisture breeds bacteria) or if soap or other irritants gets pushed into the urethra. Use a lot of lube, avoid soap and bath gels, and make sure to dry off fully when you get out.
Shower Sex Accessories: Lube, Toys, and Non-Slip Mats
Shower sex can be spontaneous but a little advanced planning-and advanced shopping-can set you up for a safe, steamy experience. Here are some of the things you might want to throw in the cart:
Non-slip mat. There is nothing sexy about a non-skid shower mat but ending up in the ER for stitches is even more of a mood killer. Protect yourself from slips and falls by investing in a mat for inside the shower. Added bonus: it provides a little cushioning if one or both of you sits down or kneels.
Massaging shower head. Shower heads are easy to change and not particularly expensive so you might consider getting one that can be hand-held and has some massage settings-try soft, medium, or hard or set it to pulsate.
Shower-friendly stool. Lots of positions are made possible (or more comfortable) with the addition of a place to sit down or prop up your leg. If your shower doesn't have a built-in bench consider adding one-they're easy to find and come in plastic, metal, or wood.
Grab bars. Some bathtubs and showers include grip handles to help people get in and out without slipping. The safest versions of these are installed on the wall. If you're truly committed to shower sex, you could put some grab bars in, but you may need a professional to do the install because you have to drill into tile. There are also suction cup versions but try them out first just to make sure they're secure.
Loofahs and sponges. Giving your partner a sexy bath can be even more fun if you have some bath accessories. Try a loofah or a shower mitt for lathering them up or invest in a giant shower sponge that you can run all over their body.
Silicone lube. We're a broken record at this point but do invest in some silicone lube for your shower soirees. As ironic as it sounds, water is drying. Silicone lubes, on the other hand, are silky and slippery. Soap and other bath products are not good lubes because they might irritate the genitals.
Water safe toys. If you like sex toys in the bedroom you might love them in the shower. Obviously, any toy that actually plugs into an outlet is a no-go for the shower because of the risk of electrocution. But lots of sex toys from vibrators to clit suckers are water-friendly. Look up whether it's safe to take your favorite sex toy into the shower or buy one that is specifically made for the water-like a vibrating loofah.
Trojan Tip: When using waterproof toys and lube, remember that silicone lube works best in the shower but isn't great for silicone sex toys. If your shower toy is made of silicone, try water-based lube instead. It will work but might wash away more quickly, so keep the bottle nearby to reapply.